Careful what you ask for

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was genuinely concerned that I wouldn't know when I was in labor, seeing as it was gonna be a new experience.  That concern only grew in my 32nd week of pregnancy, when a doctor informed me that I was "prematurely ripe" (yes, those are the exact words).  I had dilated several centimeters and my baby had already dropped into the birth canal, though I hadn't even had one sign of labor, false or otherwise.  I was put on bed rest, where I prayed like crazy that I wouldn't go into labor unknowingly and fail to make it to the hospital.

Miraculously, I carried that baby to 38 weeks and promptly woke up pretty much in hard labor.  What I mean by that is that I had two small contractions, which I wasn't sure were contractions, and my water broke, which sent waves of searing, gut wrenching, pain throughout my body, almost with no break.  I begged my husband to pull over on the way because I knew this child was coming right then.  We did make it to the hospital.  I did not, however, pray that same prayer with my second child.  In fact, I made sure and told God, "No worries, here, I will know, please don't be sure that I know when I'm in labor, I got this." 

I don't generally go around asking questions if I think I might not like the answer.  I'd rather pretend-something that we lonely onlies are *really* good at doing.  It's not really avoidance per se, but more of a nervous twitch by a chronic fixer.  Given that I like the perpetual pretend land of my childhood, you'd think I'd have had sense enough NOT to ask for such a thing.

Even more baffling, given that same personality trait, (although not so much, if you understand that I'm not really a quick learner b/c I am stubborn) is that, beginning when my children were very young, I prayed that anything my children did in the dark would be brought into the light.  I prayed this often, thinking that I was doing my kids a real favor.  Granted, I never got away with anything, and I didn't consider it a real blessing, but as an adult I understood that kids need to understand consequences.

Let me just say that I have slapped myself upside the head a few times over asking for that one because little did I know that the blessing is in NOT knowing what in the world your kids are doing.  I'm only half joking here, people.  I don't think many of our parents would've survived us, had they known half of what we were doing.  Their hearts would've flat out failed.  This mama's heart is barely gonna make it, that I'm sure of, because there are no rewind buttons, you can't be made unaware of that which you were blissfully unaware of, just moments before.  I think I need to learn to start tweaking those requests and being much more careful what I ask for...or figure out how to get God to answer all of my requests as wholeheartedly as He has those two.

Tide Pods

So, I boycotted Proctor & Gamble many, many years ago...well, not entirely b/c their hands are in way too many products to try to bypass them completely *and* maintain some semblance of sanity, but Tide was one of the things I let go. 

I'm here to tell you if you don't use Tide, you MUST run and get some.  Do not walk, RUN.  Tide Pods are seriously the best thing EVER!  I've used other pods (or whatever the other brands call them) and nothing compares.  The smell/freshness is out of this world and Tide has always done a swell job cleaning the laundry.  PLUS, no dripping liquid..what a serious bonus, right?!

I read a review of them in a blog a while back and I thought, c'mon they can't be THAT good, she's giving them a good review b/c Tide was nice and sent her some, but O-M-G they are awesome.  I'm  using the Spring Meadow scent right now, but I'm sure the others are just as awesome.  I'm still not a fan of P & G, but I'm back to Tide with my heart on my sleeve!!!  And, no, this isn't a paid endorsement lol :))

Painting for Dummies

Next time I want to paint, I'll go buy that book.  Yes, I should've read it BEFORE painting for the first time, but I'm more of a jump right in and figure it out later kind of girl.  Of course, that means this project is the proverbial first pancake, but I'm ok with that.  I'm really just wanting to say I did it and do a decent enough job to be proud of, nothing fancy.

That said, I had planned on painting one wall.  Just the north wall in the downstairs living room.  The entire area is somewhat dark b/c it's the only dwelling space in the house with one lone window, so I thought it wouldn't stand out if I just did the one wall, in case it came out crappy.  I opted for the one wall with a window, thinking it'd be less work.  STOOPID.  At any rate, after I'd started, I realized that when I rearranged the furniture, the couch would be on opposing walls with two different colors.  UGH!  I consulted my friend, queen of painting anything and everything, who told me that I HAD to paint the other wall.

Now, we have another trip to the store to get another gallon of paint.  I think I'd have had enough for two coats on the one wall, but now that's a moot point.  Add to the list paint thinner/turpentine/whatever.  Yes, I started a painting project without it.  Thank God the paint washes right off if I get to it immediately.  I actually considered not buying a drop cloth b/c I was SURE I was tidy enough to not get one drop of paint anywhere it shouldn't be.  Have I mentioned that I'm new?  OK, so a trip to the store is in order.  Just for a couple of things.  Well, then I'm thinking that I could buy some inexpensive rags.  As if I can't make something out of old towels, but I'm going to the store.  Then, I decide that, after nine years of living here, I absolutely HAVE to get baseboards down in the few areas that don't have it.  Never mind that they won't match, it's a MUST. 

I have thoroughly come to understand how DIY home projects go awry and result in tons of money being spent and how people get lost at the home improvement stores.  I'm seriously thinking that in order to curtail the impulse, the home improvements must stop here.  After I buy my book.  And my paint.  And my baseboards.  Oh and a curtain rod and tie backs.  And...  

Season 15 DWTS FINALE

So, how many of y'all knew this was Derek's last season?  Are you bummed, too?  I sure am.  He is a fabulous choreographer.  Have you seen the Paso, he and Chelsie choreographed and danced?  I can't remember which season, but it is one of the best dances I've ever seen in my life and this from the girl who isn't in love with the Paso.  Of course, none of this has to do with the subject of this blog entry, mind you.

Last night, our remaining three teams, Derek & Shawn, Tony & Melissa and Val & Kelly all did their monster freestyle and then their repeat dance, which was a dance they'd done earlier in the season, whether to showcase their strength, again, or to improve in a weak area, it was up to them.

First to dance were Kelly & Val doing their repeat Paso.  It was awesome, even better than the first time and they finally got a (two) 10.  Their freestyle was done to Dirty Dancing's Time of My Life, which I personally feel is a risky move, but I was actually very pleased with it.  I really enjoy watching their chemistry and I'm gonna miss that.  Carrie Ann made a comment about not knowing whether or not they were an item, but how well they do together has gotten everyone caught up in thinking that they're witnessing a real, live fairytale and I agree.  I'm not sure it was really worth a 30, but so it got.  Honestly, I felt like the finales were pretty scaled down this season, but maybe I'm the only one thinking that.  They did allow them extra dancers and any sort of extra stuff to showcase their talent, but I just don't feel it was mega style.  Then again, Kelly did come onto the stage doing acrobatics suspended in air, so maybe I was just tired lol!

Melissa and Tony were up next and their repeat dance was to their Samba, which earned them a well deserved 30.  I never thought Melissa was a bad dancer, but if you're the 10th best dancer in the world surrounded by the other top nine it puts you in a bad position, which has been part of the problem.  However, they have REALLY risen to the challenge and their party dance was fun, fun, FUN!!  I still feel like she's teacher's pet and needs to get over acting surprised at every ten, but I really can't NOT like her, she's so cute and works so hard and has really improved, even though she started out really good.  Their freestyle was a beautiful contemporary number, but it was definitely too safe, too ordinary.  Beautiful, but not as competitive as I think it should've been.  Of course, the judges fell over themselves giving her praise, which I guess is fine.  You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

Shawn and Derek's repeat dance was their rule-breaking Quick Step.  First of all, not my favorite dance.  They could've showcased her for the finale much differently and done ANY other dance that was actually well received.  I'm a little pissed at Derek for talking Shawn into doing it "illegally", again.  He totally thumbed his nose at the judges.  Shawn is sure a sweet, loyal thing, making sure to totally stand by what they did, even though it was wrong.  The freestyle is the place for tricks, NOT the Quick Step and since they got low scores last time for breaking hold, why the hell would Derek even think they should do it, again?  Fans, schmans.  Well, ok, the fans are obviously a huge part of the show, which is a gigantic understatement, I know, but daaang, would it have been so hard to choose a different dance?  Really?  I think poor Shawn was in quite a spot and, like she said, she respects judges rules and has followed them her whole life, but for her, she really wanted to please the fans....or so she said.  Bruno did tell them that, in spite of the marks down for breaking hold, it took nothing away from what they've accomplished, which was really nice to hear, after Carrie Ann was a snarky you-know-what.  Their freestyle was danced as a collage of the season's greatest hits of theirs and they called on the Fab Five Olympian teammates of Shawn's, to help seal the deal.  It was really a phenomenal number, perfectly synchronized, totally stunning and, in my opinion, by far the best freestyle. 

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT FOR PACIFIC TIME ZONE WATCHERS...........

DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.......


















KELLY & VAL TAKE THIRD (as I predicted)
SHAWN & DEREK TAKE SECOND (as I feared)
MELISSA & TONY WIN SEASON 15!!!  

I'm honestly ok with this, it was fair, for once.  Not that Melissa has never had  any dance experience, she's hardly a novice, but I think she worked hard to get as good as she was and I truly felt it belonged to either her or Shawn.  Sure, I'd have preferred Shawn, I think she deserved it more, but give it to the teacher's pet, I'm good with that, too.

Reason #199 why I don't keep candy in the house

I've been about to bust, wanting to decorate the house for Christmas.  My rule is not until at least the day after Thanksgiving.  I wouldn't even allow myself to open the bags of Christmas themed candy before the designated date, seeing as how it's a rule and all.

So, yesterday, I gathered up the dish that holds that Christmas candy and proceeded to wipe down the outside, as some grime had collected.  While I'm doing that, I'm talking.  To the dish.  "Do you think that's clean enough now?  Whatcha thinkin?  Are you excited to get filled with candy?" 

I  know.  Odd, right?  Not so much when you consider that the second I'd filled that dish with candy, set it down, and turned my back, it called me.  BY.NAME.  Like, "Liiiisa...pppsssttt...aren't you excited to try some of the Christmas themed candy?  So what if it's regular candy dressed in pretty Christmas clothes, isn't it pretty?"  Which led me to try a piece...and about eight more.  Epic diet fail here.  Because of a freaking talking candy dish?  What the heck?

On another note, I was looking forward to the living room looking as if the Hallmark store threw up in it and I experienced nothing but glee on that front.  Adding to the excitement, I realized that I have enough boxed Christmas cards for about the next four years.  Evidently, I had a great time at the going out of business sale at my Hallmark store last year.

DWTS Season 15 Michael Jackson Tribute Week

Sorry, I've been lazy about posting, but the man was here and then we were in SoCal, so I've been a little busy.  I'm gonna do my best to get this week's published right about 9pm EST so that I can post the spoiler with it, as it's another double elimination week, going into the finals.

This week, each team had to do a fusion dance (read funky made up dances combined with real dances) and a dance to a Michael Jackson song.  They also had little dances here and there from the troupe dancers to some songs from the 25th anniversary CD (or DVD).  The point is, it was an entertaining night with music from the King of Pop.

Melissa & Tony danced a Caveman Hustle (stupid much?) to Walk the Dinosaur and I think they did as well as they could, given the dance itself.  The judges noted that she hobbled a little during her hustle moves, which I didn't see, but will take their word for lol!  Melissa is REALLY a good dancer and she works very hard.  Her figure sure shows it!  It's hard for me not to root for her because she's really that good, I think.  I do feel like the judges go overboard in their praise for her, at times, like she's teacher's pet and I hate teacher's pets, but she is very likeable and cute and fun.  Some girls have all the luck, right?!  Their second dance was an Argentine Tango, one of my very fave dances, to Dirty Diana.  I really felt like the music was too heavy for me to get into the dance.  It was a beautiful dance, don't get me wrong, I just didn't see the perfect 30 in it that the judges did.  ::shrugs:: 

Shawn & Derek first danced a Bhangra/Knight Rider fusion, which is...???  Yeah, they didn't know either.  The writers are grasping at straws trying to make the show new, but hello, the old formula was working fine...no?!  At any rate, they freaking nailed it and I now desire to dance Bhangra.  Like Derek said, forget Zumba.  I was screaming, clapping my hands, going nuts over this dance and it's the only one I rewound to be entertained, again.  Man, it hurts my heart to root against my Apol-OH, but I heart Shawn so much, I can't help it!  Their second dance was also an Argentine Tango, performed to Bad.  Shawn SERIOUSLY brings it.  Her competitive, fighting little spirit is bringing it large to DWTS, wow!  I've yet to see an Argentine Tango that rocks me to my core, like Maks and Erin's a few seasons ago, but for Shawn's age and life experience, I think she is just the cat's meow!

MMMApolo and Karina got screwed in their first stupid er fusion dance, if you ask me.  They had to do a Jazz/Bigtop number to Circus.  I felt bad for them, honestly.  First of all, my poor guy slipped running out onto the stage in the beginning of the number...I mean, what a time for a slip...and, as Carrie Ann said, it set a bad tone for the rest of the dance.  I agree with her comments that they seemed disjointed, but I really feel it was largely b/c of the lunacy of the dance.  Largely interpretive, I think Apolo did a wonderful, wonderful job, it's just the dance was flat out DUMB!  Their second dance, however, rocked the hizzhouse.  They did a rumba to Man in the Mirror that was smokin hot!!  VERY nice, indeedy!  Apolo, like Shawn, just thrives on the competition and you can see it in the performance.

Emmitt & Cheryl had to dance an Espionage/Lindy Hop.  I told you they were damn stupid, right?  They danced to Secret Agent Man and, really, I felt like all they had to do was Lindy Hop b/c there is no Espionage dance and I dunno how you could prove someone wasn't doing an espionage dance, right?  ::rolls eyes::  It was energetic and fun, but I really think it was obvious that it wasn't Emmitt's favorite night.  Their second dance was Tango to Leave Me Alone, which was fine, but I can't think of anything that stood out to me, for some reason.  Both their dances were just fine, but I think they needed a pinch more than just fine, at this stage in the game. 

Kelly & Val danced a Surfer Flamenco.  PPFFFTT!  They got chastised for not having enough Flamenco.  Whatever.  We did get a nice shot of Val's whole package lol with him in a little speedo.  That was interesting.  No extra points?  COME ON!  Their second dance was a Rumba to I Just Can't Stop Loving You and, naturally, they got robbed.  I swear the judges hate them.  Morons.  They should've gotten 10's and Val was obviously ticked off about it and I was, too.  It was a beautiful, moving, soul baring dance.  Someone get the judges some more fiber in their diet or something because the irregularity is getting to 'em!

OK....SPOILER ALERT....SPOILER ALERT........here's who got eliminated tonight......READY???


Yep, my boy Apolo is gone, along with Emmitt & Cheryl.  This was one of the weeks I really would've been happy to see them all stay, I must admit.  It's a sad night on DWTS.

So, that means that finals will be Shawn & Derek, Melissa & Tony and Kelly & Val.  I think it'll end in that order or with Melissa & Tony in first place just because she's teacher's pet lol!

DWTS Season 15 Guilty Pleasures Part 2

Due to the Presidential debate, this week's competition was split into two nights.  I blogged about night one, earlier in the week, if you want to catch up.  There is no elimination this week, but rather a team dance, along with the individual dance, and the scores from this week will be added to the scores next week.  I'll let you know right now that I wasn't completely over the moon for any of the dances.  I didn't hate any of them, but it sorta felt unremarkable to me and I'm sure the write up will reflect that.

Dancing first this night were Melissa & Tony, doing a Tango to "Toxic" by Britney Spears.  Not the best Tango I've seen, but then I prefer the Argentine Tango to the regular one.  They did really well and Melissa was quite convincing in the role she was playing, it just didn't scream to me.  They got nines across the board, giving them a total of 27 for tonight.

Second up was Shawn & Derek, doing a Rumba to "My Heart Will Go On," by Celine Dion.  Here, again, we have another dance that isn't necessarily my favorite, but done correctly, it can be really emotive and suck you right in.  No, these are no Gilles & Peta, but I thought what they did was mesmerizing and beautiful and it really showed Shawn in a different light.  Len pitched a fit about not enough hip movement, which Carrie Ann and Bruno disagreed with, but in going back to view the tape, again, I have to admit he was right.  I don't agree with his BS score of 8, but he did have a legitimate point.  This dance really showcases a woman's rear end and her hips.  It should be beautifully seductive.  If you look at Peta's rumba and then go back and view Shawn's, you'll see the marked difference, but then Peta is a pro.  Even watching Peta & Gilles, I was completely drawn to Peta's every move, in spite of myself, because that's the nature of this dance.  However, if you compare Shawn to what Gilles did, I don't think you can justify the disparity in scoring.  The scores were all over the place, with them getting and 8, 9 and 10 for a total of 27.  I must say, as much as I adore my Apolo, I think these two have emerged as my favorite team now.  No one we have left, with the except of Kirstie, is less than the best of the best, so it'd really quite hard to choose a favorite, but I Shawn & Derek make me so happy, when I watch them. 

Next, we had Apolo & Karina, dancing a Samba to "Give it to Me Baby," by Rick James.  Carrie Ann commented about how there seems to be a disconnect with these two.  AMEN to that!  That's the problem.  Karina has an Olympian out there and yet he's under-performing or at least it seems that way b/c of the lack of chemistry.  There's just always something missing.  Technically, it wasn't horrible, they did just fine, but when I'm not on my feet screaming A.Pol.O, something is up.  They also scored a 27 for the night.

Last to do their individual dance were Sabrina & Louis, dancing a waltz to "So This is Love," from Cinderella.  Sabrina was dressed like Cinderella, Louis like her prince and it really was like watching a fairytale dance.  It's hard to not root for Sabrina as my first choice, because her heart is on her sleeve for every single dance and she just works so hard.  On top of that, she's extremely humble and gracious and she just lit the place up, dancing in her fairytale.  She is really a beautiful dancer, but I think she does need to learn how to slow down a little, just back off a wee bit.  They scored a 29 for the night, which I believe was their best score yet.

Wrapping the night up was the team dance, consisting of Gilles & Peta, Emmitt & Cheryl, Kelly & Val and Kirstie & Maks.  They danced to Gangnam Style and omg this was the goofiest thing EVER!  I don't think they necessarily intended for it to be that level of goofiness, but it just got ridiculous.  I must admit, though, they did make me laugh.  It was so dumb, you couldn't help but crack up.  Three nine's, though?  That did not make me laugh.  Yeah, there was great entertainment value in their dance, but man it was just a big clusterf***.  I don't know a better way to describe it.  I think it was Kelly that commented in practice that it was like watching a train wreck, but that can be fun, sometimes.  That was about it.  You couldn't tear yourself away from the mess.  I'm not there to watch a mess, though, right?!

DWTS Season 15 All Stars Guilty Pleasures Week

So, this week the stars got to dance to a "guilty pleasure" song of their choosing.  We have the team freestyle dance this week, as well, which should be interesting.  Also, due to the Presidential debate,  the two hour show was split into two nights, Monday & Tuesday, so we got to see half of the eight remaining couples, along with the team chosen by Derek & Shawn.  There will be no elimination this week and the scores from this week will be added to next week's score.

Did you check out that dress that Brooke was wearing?  Giant HORIZONTAL stripes and she still looked as hot as ever.  It's nuts!  I did think the hair was a bit too poofy.  My gosh, how tall do they need her to be, anyway??

First to dance were Kelly & Val, who did a Samba to Cher Lloyd's "Want U Back."  Right away, I was worried about them b/c Kelly is back to working all day on set at General Hospital and they had to learn two dances this week.  It seemed like she was really having a hard time getting the steps down and she was constantly on the edge of a meltdown, just from sheer exhaustion.  Do the GH producers have no heart?  It's DWTS we're talking about here, give a girl a break.  So, I was totally unimpressed by her outfit.  As Cheryl said, later, "The Samba is a party dance."  EXACTLY.  A black get up, from head to toe, (and a boppy little stupid outfit, at that) does nothing to say party, not to mention it doesn't showcase Kelly's adorable figure, something the Samba itself begs to do, with all its shakin'!  I think the entire problem was song and wardrobe based.  Both just made the whole thing seem bogged down and, unfortunately, the scores reflected it, with them getting the lowest score of the night...24.5.  I do so hope her fan base kicks in, though, b/c she is fabulous to watch and I know she has lots more to give. 

Next up, Gilles & (still on my last nerve) Peta doing a Rumba to Whitney Houston's, "I Will Always Love You."  Truly, I'm happy to just sit and watch Gilles do nothing, but stand there.  An occasional word of broken English is fine, too.  But, THE DANCE........I'm pretty sure I've never seen such a fantastic Rumba in my life.  I got so caught up in it that I had to rewind it to make sure Gilles was actually dancing.  It was totally mesmerizing.  In the beginning of the song, the girl (best cover ever of this song) was singing a Capella and the beauty of their dance with no background music was something to behold.  It wasn't the best dance EVER, I mean it *was* the Rumba and yeah, they were a pinch short on the actual "rumba-ing", but it's what it became in Gilles & Peta that was captivating.  After the dance, we got to see the funniest thing ever on DWTS, at least as far as I can remember, and that would be Carrie Ann falling off her chair.  She screams out, "Let the baby making begin," referencing Gilles comment in practice that it was gonna be so hot that babies were going to be made all over the world, and proceeds to just fall right out of her chair.  I was laughing so hard and so long (ridiculous number of replays I enjoyed in my room) that I had tears just streaming down my face.  If you didn't see the show, go find a clip of that happening.  It's priceless!!  Len falls on the table laughing, Bruno throws himself on the table, the people in the audience are totally stunned, it was hysterical.  I just forced my husband and my teenage son to sit through the video of the dance and the fall lol....the whole thing just kills me.  OK, anyway, they are atop the leader board with 29.5.

The third couple to dance is Kirstie & Maks (whom you'll notice has been getting FAR less attention from me this season), dancing a Quick Step to Simon & Garfunkels's, "Mrs. Robinson."  My first thought was:  DUMB.  My last thought:  DUMB.  I'm not impressed.  The judges thought they danced better than Kelly & Val.  I do believe they were still on some high from Carrie Ann's fall.  Then again, I may just be bitter.....in rehearsal, Kirstie was talking about the song, basically about how it's appropriate, not only for her, but all the other women 40 & over and "maybe even 50 & up," who have a mad crush on Maks.  Maks is hot and now b/c I'm over 40 I'm some Mrs. Robinson?  PPPFFFTT!  Can she just speak for her 60+ self, please?  How old is he, anyway?  He's almost exactly 10 years younger than I am, so I guess that can make me a Mrs. Robinson, but I still resent it.  As an aside, if Kirstie Alley is a size 6, I'm the queen of frickin England!  I don't know what they got...don't care...sorry if you do.  I think maybe it was a half point higher than Kelly.

The final couple to dance was Emmitt & Cheryl, who did a Samba (note the SAMBA music here, Kelly & Val) to "Copacabana," by Barry Manilow.  It was, as Bruno said, like they were having the best party in the world right there.  It was so fun!  I noticed the little misstep that the judges commented on, but really it was nothing in all the dancing they did.  I had a blast watching them and, had it not been 4am, I'd have probably tried to get up and dance with them.  They scored a 29, their best score this season, I do believe.

Team dance, consisting of Derek & Shawn, Melissa & Tony, A.Pol.O A.Pol.O A.Pol.O....my needle got stuck, sorry....& Karina and Sabrina & Louis.  Let me preface my commentary on this dance by saying, again, how very mismatched I think Karina & Apolo are.  I think he could be doing SO much better, but she really is just not suited to him...nor him her.  Seriously, though, how do you make an Olympian look bad??  Right?  Now, I'll admit, I was afraid this dance was gonna bomb, given their cheesy outfits.  They had to dance to Carly Rae Jepsen's, "Call Me Maybe," but lifts and tricks and such were allowed.  I just didn't want it to be all like cheerleading camp b/c I can watch the cheerleading championships for that kind of thing.  As it turns out, it was an awesome routine.  They had plenty of fun tricks (Melissa ended up being like a human jump rope, at one point), but each couple had their individual moment in the spotlight and all of them did really well, really playing up their strengths.  I guess I should mention that Melissa ended up having to be carted away in an ambulance (can you say dramatic flair), but was given the green light to dance.  They said the diagnosis was a herniated disc, but man oh man, I have those, from time to time and IDK how they said or she felt she could dance with one.  I'm not a believer, but whatever you gotta do to get ratings lol!  They scored very high on the team routine, with a 29.5.  Should've been a 30 imho, but I got the feeling the judges were saving that extra half point for the next team, should they be able to be even better. 

Tonight, we have the rest of the couples, as well as the next team dance.  I will try to get the blog updated about that tomorrow, but remember, no elimination this week.

DWTS Season 15 All Stars

I don't know what the name of this week's competition was, specifically, but there were a ton of new dances involved with the added twist of each team choosing a dance for another team.  I actually put down all my notes, in text format, on my phone, while I watched.  Four KB later, I have the blog, but then have to actually drag it downstairs to put it in a format you can read.  Oh yes, we also had a guest judge last night, Paula Abdul.  She added a fun element, I thought, and she's no newb to dancing.

Kicking off the night were Kirstie & Maks who had to dance a Charleston.  Sweet Sabrina chose that dance for her, thinking it would be one she LIKED, not wanting to give someone a dance they couldn't or didn't want to do.  I think most of the others tried to find a dance that would be difficult for the other team and trip them up.  I'm not saying it's wrong...just sayin.  This dance ended up being a really fun, cute, little vaudeville number.  A great way to start the night, but knowing who the competition was, I think they should've stepped it up a tad.  They were allowing lifts and tricks and whatnot, so you really gotta bring it.

Next to dance, we had Bristol & Mark doing a rock n' roll dance.  My notes about this were that Bristol is not light enough on her feet and that's still the main thing that stands out to me from her dancing last night.  Mark was crazy energetic, just flitting around the dance floor and I swear he had to use marionette strings to pull her UP off her feet.  Yes, for Bristol, it was yet another improvement and more of her just having fun and coming out of her shell, but um could my fellow party members stop voting for her just because they feel sorry for her?!  Enough already.  I understand that she's improving, but I could improve at running until the day I day and it doesn't mean I'm gonna deserve a gold medal at the Olympics.  The judges really liked her, blanketing her with praise, which I'm fine with, but higher scores than Kirstie & Maks?  Whatever.

Sabrina & Louis were chosen to do a disco dance.  They danced to the Bee Gees "You Should Be Dancin'", something I mention just because it's important to note that a group of my friends and I also did a dance to this song....in Jr. High...for our gymnastics competition.  Yeah, we rocked the disco, but probably a little less so than Sabrina.  That girl is SUCH a professional, so explosive and precise and eager to just dance her little heart out.  It is absolutely unreal to me that she has been in the bottom two and Bristol hasn't.  STOOPID, I tell ya.  They did get scores that I felt were appropriate, with a combined total of 35.5.

Emmitt 'Mr. Ford F-150' and Cheryl danced next.  I'm not sure I've seen a Bolero danced before, but this one was frickin AWESOME!!  They brought such beauty to the floor and were perfectly in tune, drawing everyone in to the story they were telling.  This was not a dance that Cheryl knew, but you sure could've fooled me.  Carrie Ann said that Emmitt's articulation was spot on and that was exactly right!!  Paula said it was sensual, exquisite, also exactly right.  It was just beautiful!  They jumped ahead of the pack with that dance, by just a half a point, but there were still tons of awesome dancers left.

Next up...Gilles & Peta dancing Bollywood, something that still makes me laugh.  Peta has done nothing thus far to make me any less annoyed with her, which really annoys me and, while this style was not my fave, omg they totally KILLED IT!!!  The choreography was dead on and just wow...anytime Gilles wants to go Indian, dude I'm there!  The judges all praised them both and, as Carrie Ann said, "Aladdin has nothing on Gilles."  They ended up with three 10's, giving them a total of 39.5!!  I don't envy the couple having to follow them....especially since it was.....

Melissa & Mark dancing a JITTERBUG lol!  Yeah, something else to make me laugh, though I'm not sure why.  It just seemed unfair that sexy Gilles and his BW dance went before cute, little Melissa and her peppy dancing.  HOWEVER, I was quickly put in my place b/c these two really work well together.  It's like they've known each other and been dancing together their whole lives.  It was a really cute, energetic dance, but I really felt like it had too many lifts.  The reason being is that I really think peeps are getting too concerned with the tricks that Shawn Johnson does instead of worrying about their own DANCING.  I already know that Melissa isn't Shawn, so I'm not really trying to watch her try to beat her.  Right?  CA was totally right here, when she said that Melissa makes eery dance look so easy.  It's really impossible not to like Melissa, at the end of the day, so let's keep 'em around a bit longer.

Speaking of Shawn, she and Derek danced a Mambo next.  Here's what I put....OMG OMG OMG screaming in my bedroom whoooooo holy cow, what a phenomenal hot, hot...OMG let's replay it....which I did lol!  It was late, I was loopy, but I'm telling you, what a sassy little number.  I agree with Paula...Derek for President!!  They tied for first with this dance, but seriously it should've taken the lead, it was superior!

Oh my babe, Apolo is up next and I was so nervous for him, having to follow Shawn.  UGH, they're performing a hip hop dance and Karina was about to have a stroke from the stress b/c she doesn't like that style.  Well, I saw a human side of Karina, anyway, something I've rarely seen.  She felt bad about her own performance.  Their scores were sucky....CRAP!  Come on people A.Pol.O A.Pol.O A.Pol.O oh please oh please bring him back.  Poor baby just isn't suited to Cranky Karina.  He has swaggy, we need more swaggy.

Last to dance, Kelly & Val, dancing a contemporary dance.  Before they even danced, I had written this:  While I like Kelly...she's got a killer body, she's beautiful, she can dance, but do y'all not get the sense that she just wants to do Val right there...it's like her soapy sex kitten is always on.  LOL, I really think my eyes see different things late at night.  However, after watching their dance, I think my eyes were perfectly tuned into the nuances.  The dance was so emotional, gut wrenching, raw emotion and beauty...so descriptive...Kelly was so caught up in it, even afterward.  They made me cry.  (That late night thing, again lol) They just really such beautiful chemistry and if they aren't together, they REALLY need to be.

I'm not proofing this, again, so pardon any grammatical or any other kind of errors.  I'll try to remember to update, once I know who is gone, but no promises.

SPOILER FOR WEST COASTIES.........

BRISTOL AND MARK ARE GONE!!!

DWTS Season 15 Iconic Dance Week

So, this week was about iconic dances from previous shows/seasons.  Of course, most of the stars and pros insisted it wasn't about doing it better than the original, but hello, it's a competition, people!  The exception to that (that I can remember, anyway) was Val, since he was very obviously going after big bro, Maks.  Oh yeah, the other component to this week was that the stars had total creative control, making for an interesting mix of themes out on the dance floor.

West coast viewers, there IS a spoiler in here, at the bottom, so if you don't want to know yet, you should stop reading before the end or put your hand up to block the spoiler or IDK....do something.

Drew & Anna danced first, to the Cha Cha Cha.  They danced to Beyonce's Crazy in Love and were recreating Joey & Ashley's season 1 dance.  It was cute watching Drew pull out the sexy in Anna.  Normally, I don't care for her, she seems to cold, but this week I really warmed up to her cute, shy side.  The dance wasn't spectacular, mostly b/c they were awesome in a world of SUPER awesome.  They did really well, but scored pretty low, comparatively.

Gilles & Peta recreated season 10's Tango by Maks & Erin, dancing to Eurythmics Sweet Dreams.  I am loving Gilles (though he's no Maks).  He's proud yet humble, he seems sorta dark, but his eyes just dance.  Have I mentioned I like 'em tall, dark and brooding?  Ah, no wonder, right?!  Peta, on the other hand, drives me crazy and I'm unlikely to ever vote for anyone she dances with.  The exception may be Apolo, but that's not happening, so no worries.  But, I digress.  Peta looks frickin bored by everything.  I find myself yawning with her and wondering if we both don't have narcolepsy.  AND, she needs to stop doing the crazy bleach blonde look, it's totally unflattering.  It was a beautiful dance.  The man is, after all, quite beautiful and his lines are stunning and he is a most elegant dancer, but they were no Maks & Erin.

Melissa & Tony, who were completely adorable together last night, recreated JR & Karin's Samba to Conga (Gloria Estefan).  These two were totally in sync, completely ON last night.  Again, they're surrounded by tons of others who are bringing their A++ game, but they did a really fabulous job.  It helps that I LOVE the Samba.

Apolo & Karina recreated Season 8's Foxtrot by Gilles & Cheryl.  They danced to Fever, by Michael Buble.  Now, I have to say (while I chant A.Pol.O A.Pol.O. A.Pol.O) I felt this was sort of an odd choice.  I mean, people are bringing hip shakin, ground moving, crazy, over the top stuff and here they chose subdued.  I know Gilles did a mellow number, too, but it definitely suits him more than, say, a Samba, so it's ok.  I think Apolo should've taken a bit more risk.  Dude has plenty of hip shakin to share, so what up?  OK, still and all, it WAS gorgeous.  Fox Trot is not my favorite dance, so it says a lot for me to have gotten so into their dance, but I still wish it'd been done a little differently. 

Kelly & Val did a Paso Doble, recreated from Maks & Laila's Season 4 number and whooo boy, as much as I love me some Maks, I'm sorry to say that little bro nailed it!!  These two have such chemistry and they're both young, cute and energetic and the mix is just lethal.  The judges were totally blown away.  I'm not surprised, actually, Kelly is a phenomenal dancer, but OMG this dance was just WOWZA!!

Kirstie & Maks did a Cha Cha Cha to Maroon 5's Moves Like Jagger, a routine originally done in Season 4 by Carson & Anna.  Um HELLO, Kirstie, we don't care why you watch DWTS, we want good stuff and we want it now.  I really don't know what dance the judges were watching and I know that Kirstie is always highly lauded for her Cha Cha, but damn, I have to disagree.  She moves too slowly.  I always want to move her feet more to get her up to the beat of the music.  I know she's older and doesn't have that same spring in her step and, yeah, her Cha Cha kicks my Cha Cha's ass, since I can't do it, but I am not on DWTS during all stars week.  COME ON.  Maks looked good, Maks always looks good, he makes Kirstie look good, they have good chemistry, it was a good dance, but do you see the problem there?  It was GOOD, not GREAT!!  Kirstie should be going home soon...please.

Sabrina & Louis recreated Mel B & Maks’ season 5 Paso Doble – Free Your Mind by En Vogue.  Sabrina is such a firecracker!  She came out and danced her excellent dancing hiney right off.  I really think she could do any dance, her dancing skills are so superior, but I'm not entirely sure it leaves her a ton of room for improvement, which the judges like to see?

Emmitt & Cheryl also did a Paso to Cancion Del Mariachi by Desperado Los Lobos, which was a recreation of Season 3's routine by Mario & Karina.  I don't recall it being the best dance ever.  I recall them talking about not being able to bring his donkey's into the studio, but it didn't stand out as the best dance or the worst dance.

Helio & Chelsie recreated Apolo & Julianne’s season 4 Quickstep to Mr. Pinstripe Suit by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.  Oh gosh, Helio is so cute.  So is Chelsie, for that matter.  You'd think they totally wouldn't have chemistry b/c of the age difference and just life experience, I guess, but they are just super cute.  Unfortunately, Helio stepped on Chelsie's dress, so they had a couple of missteps.

Bristol & Mark ALSO did a Paso to Living on Video by Trans X, a recreation of Season 4's dance by Derek & Joanna.  The judges really complimented her on her improvement, but she's still at the bottom of the leader board....where she belongs, I might add.  I seriously have nothing against Bristol, although her frickin tantrum at Mark was totally uncalled for, but she's in the ALL STARS, not at the 'who can improve the most contest'.  I read a board the other night where some ass clown called everyone who didn't vote for Bristol a liberal something or other.  These are the people we have voting like crazy, keeping people on who NEED TO GO, DAMN IT!!  Yeah, she's improved, but she is simply not anywhere near the caliber that the other stars are at, even on their worst day.  Ya know??

Last, we had Shawn & Derek, who broke many a rule doing a Quickstep to Hey Pachucho from The Mask.  This was a nod to Season 5's dance by Helio & Julianne.  I read (before I'd seen it for myself) that it was basically a glorified gymnastics routine and I really have to disagree.  She wanted to make sure there was some dancing in it (she's such a cutie) and there was.  Plenty, in my opinion.  They got a wee talking to about the rules, which they anticipated, but they just went for it and put so much energy, so much movement, so much fun in it, I don't think anyone was immune to the charm.  Rules schmules!!

SOOOOOO.....the booted ones this week are:  Drew & Anna and Helio & Chelsie.  Seriously, while they were not THE best dancers, they weren't near the worst.  Gawd, people, come on, it's a dancing competition...or supposed to be. 

DWTS Season 15 (I think) All Star Cast

Wow, my DVR saved me from freaking out over missing this one.  I had no clue it was already time for DWTS, but woohoo was it a good one!!  I think they did the Cha Cha Cha and the Fox Trot.  I won't mention each team's dance, just a brief critique of how I thought they did, while I warm up my blog voice...been a while.

Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson danced first (and after this there is no particular order, for the most part) and, while I thought they did quite well, it didn't exactly wow me.  He has talent and I'm all for seeing him stay.

Bristol Palin & Mark Ballas...eh, Bristol looks really good and she's really come out of her shell and opened up, but fan favorite/best of the best...REALLY?  I like her just fine, it's just her dancing isn't superb b/c it is really out of the poor girl's comfort zone.   They are in jeopardy of being kicked off, as of right now.

Helio Castroneves & Chelsie Hightower....Helio is ever the charmer, although how a race car driver has such a presence on the dance floor, I'll never know.  I guess I don't need to know.  He'll be nice to keep around for a while, but I'm not sure he has what it takes to finish in the top of the pack.

Pamela Anderson & Tristan McManus can both go.  NOW.  I don't care for either of them and that girl certainly can't dance.  She's relying solely on sex appeal and duck face and um eeww to both, as far as I'm concerned.  Unfortunately, my go to place for early updates hasn't commented on these two yet....stay tuned.  UPDATE....HELL YEAH, PAMELA AND TRISTAN ARE GONE!!!! 

Sabrina Bryan & Louis Van Amstel....I'm not a huge fan of Louis, but I like Sabrina.  She was VERY surprisingly kicked off early in the competition, several seasons ago and she was the one who won the fan vote to come back this season.  Personally, I'd have rather had little (ok, so not so little, but whatever) Kyle Massey come back with his tootie roll, but I guess I'll just have to deal with it.  Sabrina is a really good dancer, though I agree with Carrie Ann that she tends to over-dance.  She needs to bring it down a notch.  I hope she'll be staying awhile, so we can see her true talent.

Shawn Johnson & Derek Hough....a new partner for Shawn and the youngest dancer Derek has ever had didn't seem to phase either of them.  They're both too cute for words and I hope she stays for the long haul.  Retirement looks good on her!

Drew Lachey & Anna Trebunskya...another pro I'm not altogether fond of, but Drew is just such a nice guy, it's hard to want to see him leave.  This is going to be a seriously tight competition and they're all gonna have to bring it every week, so I'm not sure how long he'll last, but he's quite good.

Apolo Ono & Karina Smirnoff...so, even though I don't like Karina and would MUCH rather he be back with Julianne, I would be totally fine with sending every other couple home right now and watching him (dance, talk, sit in a chair, WHATever) for the rest of the season.  A-pol-O A-pol-O A-pol-O   I vote for him to win the whole thing and even though my kid adores Shawn Johnson, I'm hoping her mutual adoration of Apolo will convince her to vote solely for him!!  And, yes, Carrie Ann, he did get 3000X sexier!!!

Gilles Marini & Peta Murgatroyd...I think this is a new partner for Gilles, too.  OK, he oozes charm and sex appeal and his eyes just dance with light, what a joy he is to watch.  If I had to betray my Apolo, it'd probably be here.  His lines are gorgeous, he is smooth and, well, I'd better stop there.

Kelly Monaco & Val Chmerkovskiy...Season 1 winner, Kelly, is paired with a new partner and boy did they do this one right.  What hot chemistry these two have.  LOVED watching them and the girl's still got it.  She's adorable, she's sexy and she dances the hell out of the dance floor.  I expect her to finish at the top of the heap.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani....the ever graceful Melissa brought her beautiful lines and elegance to the dance floor.  She's a cutie and a good dancer, but, again, the competition is really stiff this season, so I think she's really gonna have bring out more of her spunk.

Kirstie Alley & Maks (my man Maks needs no last name)....still as cute together as ever.  They dance well together and really seem to have quite a bond.  Kirstie has a really fabulous presence on the floor and is really great at dancing the part, but I'm not sure how long she'll last.  I know she's a bit thinner than last time, but I swear you have to be an Olympian this season to have a shot.

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke...I've already stepped out and said (yes, before I saw him dance) that if he wins this one, I'm boycotting this show permanently.  I pray I don't have to keep my word b/c I really love this show lol!  All this time later, I'm STILL pissed that he won the season that he did...I'm pretty sure it was voter fraud.  I'm just sayin.  Ok, sure, the football players always do extraordinarily well on this show (go figure) and Emmitt is no exception, but really he's no Apolo and, well, that's all there is to say about that.  He's in fine form, he can stick around a few weeks, but then he'll be needing to move along.

No time to proofread, hopefully this makes sense.  See y'all next week :)

DWTS Season 13 Week 9

FINALLY, my beloved Argentine Tango!!! It's a little hard to watch anyone do the AT, though, after Maks and Erin's in season 10 that was THE.hottest.dance.EVER. I do wish that Hope knew how to find her sexy b/c she falls short with my man. Oh well, I think she's really done her best, she just truly doesn't get her hotness. That said, they're gonna have to go now, to pave the way for Rob & Cheryl, Ricki & Derek and my favorite couple, JR & Karina. OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE!!

Ok, let's back up. I don't know if I can even remember who danced what, but I'll try. We know that everyone danced the Argentine Tango and then they did a Cha Cha relay at the end. A VERY busy week for all the couples.

Rob & Cheryl did the Samba I think. They were pretty frickin on tonight, even with their fruity little Carnival float. She has done a fabulous job with him and he has just really blossomed. I'm so proud of him. He is no JR...or Maks...or Derek, but the boy really has made the most progress, I think. Their Argentine wasn't superb. It had all the elements and it was REALLY good, but it wasn't difficult per se.

JR & Karina did the stupid Paso Doble. The poor baby is injured in a big way and it was hard to see him there not smiling and happy. Still, though, he really did some good dancing and holy cold showers was their Argentine Tango HOT!! They have some great chemistry and I would LOVE to see Karina get her first mirror ball. I still feel she and Mario Lopez were totally robbed. In fact, I do believe I boycotted for a while after that.

Hope & Maks also did the Paso, an angry, pushy dance that I'm just not thrilled with. I don't hate it more than any other, but c'mon it's bullfighting...why would we want to see that on a dance floor? I think they did just fine. The judges were happy with it, for the most part, but I do believe that my man Maks's attitude has rubbed off some on miss Hope b/c boy did she ever bring her snarky!! Have I mentioned yet that I'm not sure we'll be seeing Maks, anymore? I hope I'm wrong b/c I so love watching him, but gosh he seems to *really* be rubbing everyone but Tom the wrong way lol! Their AT was also fine, sultry enough I suppose, but she is also suffering from a bad injury, with a blown shoulder, so she's had to limit what she can do.

Ricki & Derek have my daughter's heart. Actually, any couple comprised of Derek and anyone will always have her vote. Too bad I made her use all her phone calls for JR & Karina lol! I really did. Then she missed our time zone's cut off, trying to use her brother's phone. LOVE it! Ok, back to R & D. They did bring it. Not as much as JR & Karina last week, but they were awesome. Their AT was beautiful, but not nearly as hot as JR & Karina's, though they got a higher score. WHAT.ever. Also, at the end, with the group Cha Cha Cha, JR & Karina's was better, but NO, Ricki & Derek got a higher score. Go ahead, say it with me....WHAT.ever. I did think that Rob & Cheryl did a faboo job with theirs, though, and *maybe* earned the judges full score of 10? I'm not sure, really, but I think maybe. Oh, Ricki & Derek did a cute, cute Samba, too. My daughter wasn't impressed with the yellow canary outfits, but well, it was Derek, so she got over it. He is really quite a phenomenal choreographer and really just brings out everything inside of whomever he's dancing with. It's pure magic.

CANNOT WAIT for the finals next week. If my faves go home, though, I'm boycotting them, just so ya know. Seriously.

DWTS Season 13 Week 8 Instant Dance

As always, I'm way behind, I'll just hit ya with a quick summary and a spoiler, the second I can get it posted. This week, the stars had to learn the Jive as their instant dance and then one other dance. I think we saw the quick step, the waltz and the tango. And, again, I ask...what have they done with my smokin' hot Argentine Tango? BRING.IT.BACK.

First of all, WHY is Nancy Grace still there? WHO IN THE HECK IS VOTING FOR HER? I demand a recount.

Dancing first was Rob & Cheryl and I thought they did a fine job. He has really improved and the judges agreed with me. He won't make it to the mirror ball, but I do enjoy him.

Next up, Hope and Maks. Now, I didn't agree with the judges here. I don't know, but there is just something about her that doesn't work for me. She's gorgeous, got a body that won't stop and works super hard, but maybe it's the lack of chemistry with my man Maks that is the problem. Whatever it is, it's preventing them from reaching their full potential as a couple. Too bad, really.

Derek and Rikki, who were in first place last week, danced next. For some reason, I was less than over the moon with them, too. I really like them and they have good chemistry and a fabulous work ethic and omg she has gotten SKINNY, but it just didn't seem as perfect a performance as I was expecting. That's probably my fault b/c I know they are awesome and can do anything. Totally expecting them to stick around, though, and give my JR a run for his money.

Gah...Nancy and ::zzzzzz:: Tristan danced next. I guess it was ok...for a week four or five dance, maybe. They have less chemistry than I do with my front door. She acts the wretch, he acts the troll and I change the channel. BOR.ING. They've really got to go. I'm sorry, but we're in the bigs now and they haven't even advanced to little league.

AAAHHH be still my heart, the DANCERS were on the floor next. Oh my do I ♥ JR. Please don't tell me if you're sick of hearing me go on and on about him b/c I have to. His dancing is extraordinary. His charm is extraordinary. The stories told through their dance...yes, extraordinary. They danced the most beautiful waltz, I even watched it twice, and the waltz is definitely not a favorite of mine. Gorgeous form and interpretation and just...EVERYTHING. I don't want this season to be over, just so I can come back every week and watch him.

I didn't bother watching the instant dances b/c frankly, I didn't much care about them. I watched the highlights of everyone's jive, well, except for JR's, of course. He and Karina did not disappoint, not one bit and ended up with a PERFECT score of 60 for the night!! WOOHOOO!

DWTS Season 13, Broadway Week

I don't even know what week we're on, I'm so far behind...week six maybe? Let me start by saying that the music choices for the dances have totally sucked this season!! I've been less than impressed by the whole thing this season, for some reason, though I definitely know who I want to be in the finals!

First to dance was Rob and Cheryl doing a cha-cha. Don't ask me why, but I find myself really rooting for him. I don't have any delusions about him finishing in the top of the pack and that's fine b/c I have another guy in mind, but I just kinda like him. I do agree with the judges, the dance was adequate, but too starchy. I think this really challenges him, but he's working so hard, let's bring him back. His score was 22.

Next up, we have Nancy and Tristan (neither whom I can stand even a little) doing a foxtrot. Gosh, I want to just hit her. She gives women everywhere a bad name! I felt like they ended well, but the first 2/3 of the dance did NOTHING for me. A showstopper? PPPFFFTT, I think NOT. I was watching a different foxtrot than the one that Carrie Ann and Bruno were watching. I'm with Len, the footwork sucked (ok my words, not his) and hello it's DANCING, shouldn't that be a requirement?!! Carrie Ann gave her a NINE?? WTH? Their score was a RIDICULOUS 24.

Up next, David and Kim dance a quickstep to We Go Together, from Grease. Finally, a song and a dance that work together, not against each other. Their timing was a bit off today, like the judges said, but I still think it was fun. Poor David just has too much energy for his own good. ADD much, dude? They scored a 23.

Ricki and Derek kill the place with their quickstep. WOW!! I'm tryin to sign up to dance with Derek, someday. Oh please oh please! The choreography was fabulous, the chemistry fabulous, everything FABULOUS!! I predicted they'd get a 29, which they did, so the heat is on JR and Karina, who were atop the leader board last week.

Next is Chaz and Lacey doing a tango, something I didn't think would go well and, though I didn't feel it was their worst dance, it left a lot to be desired, mostly the sizzling heat that should come from that dance. Speaking of which, how come we haven't seen the Argentine Tango this season? What gives? Oh, their score was a sad 19. I'm sorry, but he just really shouldn't be there, at this stage of the game.

Now we go to Hope & my man Maks, who was seriously out of control with his attitude tonight, even for him. He can totally boss me around any day, but wow I wonder if they'll be keeping him around. His ego is a little um...large. They danced a rumba and I just didn't think it was soooo awful and I guess the judges disagreed with me. Hope has beautiful form and, no, she's not a superior dancer, but the girl is an athlete and isn't she there to LEARN to dance? She's improving and she's not horrible, so give her a break. I think they were too hard on her, but maybe I just like her b/c she's prettier than Chaz lol! Their score of 20 was absurd, though, seriously.

Last to dance was JR and Karina and O.M.G. did they ever bring it!! I was so stinkin entertained watching their quickstep, a dance I don't like, in case I haven't mentioned it this season, I was yelling and smiling the whole time. I ♥ JR in a huge way!! They brought the house down in style and I have high hopes for those two. They got a score of 29, tying them for first with Ricki an Derek, but they were definitely the performance of the night and should've gotten that 30.

Oh...last LAST to dance was the entire group, doing a fun little group dance, which was fun to watch, but I'm not entirely sure of the point of the whole thing?

DWTS Season 13, Week 2

OK, so I'm starting off behind...the norm, if you know me, right? I promise to have the blog typed up from week one, if it's the last thing I do before I die b/c that sucker is saved on my phone, painstakingly typed up in the middle of the night. It WILL end up here darnit, good or bad.

Soooo...right outta the gate I'm sayin that ole Nancy cannot leave soon enough and unless Rob Kardashian learns how to move, his stage right may be sooner than Nan's.

First off to dance this week is Hope (WTH do they find all these cover girl athletes??) and my man Maks dancing the jive-not my favorite dance-so we'll see what happens. Right off the bat, some timing issues, but it *is* a hard dance, hope the judges don't hate b/c I still like them. Len loves it? OK, there's the mention of the timing, but hey, it's the truth. That's right, he says what he sees. HHMMMPPPFF! Well, judges say nothing surprising, though I think she has such potential and dangit, do NOT vote off my man. Scores, eh, I'm not sure I think they were fair...not sure I think they were so unfair. They got 19.

Kristin and Mark next dance the quick step, also not a fave of mine ::sigh:: I've really seen some that have had me on my feet rooting, though, so I expect no less of these two. OK, well, I was about to fall asleep in the opening minute of it, but then it really grew on me. Plus, her smile is really contagious and they have great chemistry, no? Bruno was right on about the ending, but it did end up sorta being comical. All in all, I'm quite pleased with their dance, but I actually find myself sorta agreeing with Len, AGAIN. Huh? Alternate universe?! Their scores better be fair. Yep, yep I'm all good with the scores. You?

The next jive is David and Kym. I don't even know how technically correct it was b/c I got lost in the music and energy, but YES exactly what Carrie Ann said-the enthusiasm just hung out and YES YES please move those hips dude. I'm rooting for him. I think he could use some more of this discipline in his life. Go David. I mean, don't be pushing MY faves out, but let's bring him back for a few more weeks, ok? Ok. Scores were fair, it may come down to the callers to keep him around.

Elisabetta & Val have to do a quick step and I swear listening to and watching those two act like a couple of prima donnas is going to make me break out in some kind of accent. Gawd. Yikes...ice queen much? I admit that I'm not so familiar with the Italian nuances, but I dunno, she's just rubbing me the wrong way. Lamborghini? Seriously, Bruno? Whatevs. I'm with Len and Len only this time. The dance was better than last week and, sure, it was an ok dance, not horrible, but I'm not loving them. The scores were fair at 21.

Next up, Rob & Cheryl with the jive. Ok, is it me or does he seem to be dancing to a different song? What's with the standing O? He doesn't seem to be at all excited by the music, he does not feel it in his soul. Were the judges watching the same dance? HHHMM, maybe *I* was watching a different performance than everyone else in the country? LOL! I will give him one thing...it was an improvement, but I'm still tryin to go to sleep while he's dancing. And, hello, I am NOT watching DWTS to have him psychoanalyzed by Brooke. PPFFFTTT! Ok, I do agree with the scores...21 was fair.

Carson and Anna are doing the quick step next. Admittedly, the freakish music and costumes fit Carson like a well loved T, but none of it is really working for me. They have fun and Carson has heart, but heart won't win that beloved mirror ball trophy, sorry. LOL, love Len's backhanded compliment...the worst dancers are the most entertaining to watch. Well, I'm done with them, let's move on to some dancers, shall we?! Oh...score was 18.

Ricki & Derek are dancing a jive, which I'm excited to see. OMG holy hot dances!!! Derek just brings out the smokin' hot in every lady who is lucky to be paired with him, right?! Len, DUDE? COME ON, we've been simpatico all night up until now. Heck yeah, Carrie Ann and Bruno, it was the best jive of the night. They seriously rocked my world! Their score of 23 was ok, but boohiss on Len's 7.

Next up, Chaz & Lacey with their quick step. I wasn't sure how well this was gonna go, given Chazzy boy's (thanks Carrie Ann) issues with his knees and it seems my concerns weren't unfounded. Like Bruno said, it's a QUICK step, it's supposed to be fast. I do appreciate his likeability and smile in spite of the pain, but, technically, it wasn't superior, ya know? Score was fair at 17.

Next to dance and at the top of the leader board last week (with JR), we have Chynna & Tony dancing a jive. Another couple I really like. She's a fabulous dance with fabulous chemistry and natural ability. I think I might agree with Carrie Ann and it seemed like she held back. Score of 21 was pretty fair, I think.

Ay ya, Nancy & Tristan. That about sums it up. No bueno. I felt like he was pulling her around the dance floor. Len is NUTS. It's past his bed time and it shows in his lack of vision. I'm trying to feel for her, but I'm sorry it feel a bit like rooting for the poor piranha. So, um WTH...SERIOUSLY W.T.H. Len gave her an EIGHT??? They got an overall score of 21??? Flippin sympathy scores and I'm just ticked off now.

The last dancers, JR & Karina shared the leader board with Chynna & Tony last week and this week have to do the jive and oh yeah LOVE THEM!! I have my top three now....JR, Chynna and Ricki (ugh, where's my man Maks, maybe I better revise that), not necessarily in that order, but omg the voters better bring them back. He is so full of energy and awesome and to heck with the lift and Len just has to shut it. For real. So glad I'm not listening to anymore of his late night gibberish b/c he's making me cranky. GOOOOOO JR!!!! Score was 22. I personally think they should've tied for first, again, but maybe I'm biased. Now, to get through to vote. Let me at 'em!!

North Dakota bound

Soooo, the man is in Utah, one of the stops between his home for the last 14 months in SoCal and what looks to be his new home, in North Dakota. Can you say bbbrrrr? Oh ye of no body fat does not not not like to be in the cold. However, the woman of a "little" more body fat does like the prospect of being able to pay bills, without having to borrow from Peter to pay Paul.

When he first told me that he was applying for a job in North Dakota, my response was, "Uhhh...you're going the wrong direction, ya know?" Keeping a family, marriage and two homes going, while living 1100 miles apart is not an easy task for anyone, let alone a couple who doesn't seem to have a clue as to what normal looks like. Still, the work was in SoCal, so off he went. There were a couple of hopeful prospects up here that didn't pan out, but I've been praying and praying and praying, so I figured that the reason for the NO answer was a good one, even if the Big Guy wasn't gonna fill me in on what that was.

So, the staffing agency asked for copies of all the man's licensing and certification and told him they needed him by the 11th of this month....12 days after he applied. YIKES!! From the time he called the agency to the time he spoke to the employer and they told him that was less than 24 hours. Sometimes, things move REALLLLY fast!! Seems to be the story of our lives, though, things either flying, to where you can hardly hold on or things dragging to the point of, well, hardly being able to hold on.

We could, potentially, see him much more than we've been seeing him, even though he'll be working MUCH more, just because he will get one week off every month. Lately, we've only been able to see him once every 2-3 months for a couple of days. NOT ENOUGH! Oh how I hope it is all as it seems to be.

We're not sure about the winters. I assume the oil fields don't close shop during the winter, so I am also assuming that his crane will have a heated cab. I don't want to know if that's not the case. We'll just pretend that it will be hunky dory, regardless of heated cabs. Now, his car....hhhmm...he's driving his little sports car, a Maxda RX-8 and that sucker may not fare well during the ND winters. I'm thinking that he may need to drive it home (our home here) and leave it with me for safekeeping and take the Geo. Who cares if the Geo is a teeny little car, it's ok if it gets trashed in the winter there because at least the sports car will be safe. And, no, he cannot take my Expedition. Let's face it, what's mine is mine and what's his is mine and, well, I really need the Expedition here, in case I want to take a trip into the mountains, to find some snow. It could really happen and he really wouldn't want me to get stranded, right? Exactly!

Here's hoping that ND is more welcoming and safe than his experience with the drunks surrounding his car in Ogden. He quickly drove to another little town in UT, to a hotel not teeming with tweakers and drunks, looking for a nice car to vandalize for crack money.

DWTS Season 12 Week 10 Finals Week

WOOHOO!! It's freestyle week, yeeeaaahh!!!!

I had planned on blogging with each dance, but it's just been too exciting for me to do that lol! I'm having a blast, so far, so let's get into dissecting the dances, shall we?

First to dance was Chelsea and Mark who got a little help during the week from Carrie Ann. I'm not sure Chelsea needed her help, to be honest lol! Their samba was frickin hot babeee!! YEAH!! These two have fabulous chemistry, fabulous energy and did some seriously faboo dancing!! I'm torn.

Second out was Kirstie and Maks, getting the help of Bruno. Was it obvious to anyone else that there's a reason why some people end up in the final and why some should NOT? LOL! I liked it back in the day when two couples ended up in the dance off, instead of three this leaving the top three silliness. As much as I admire Kirstie and applaud how far her dancing has come and enjoy watching Mr. Hottiebobody Maks, it was blatantly obvious right away why the competition is REALLY just between two of the couples on tonight's lineup. Their samba was nice and good and she's really improved, but finals quality it was not....not in my ever so humble opinion, anyway.

Last and certainly not in any way least, was my silent assassin Hines & Kym dancing the quick step, getting some pointers (get it, point the feet???) from Len. First of all, what the heck is wrong with the judges? Kirstie & Chelsea get to dance a samba, a hot dance they both rocked the first time around and then Hines gets stuck with that stupid quick step...ON FINALS NIGHT???? Loohoosers!! How dare they. You know what, though, Hines sure showed all of 'em!! GOOO baby GO!!! They deserved every point of their 30, which tied them with Chelsea & Mark for the first round.

First of all, NO freestyle was as awesome as some of the past freestyle dances, especially the awesome Tootsie Roll that Kyle Massey did last year. I hope someone does a freestyle next season that rivals one of my all time faves, but we'll just have to wait and see, I suppose.

Same order, Mark & Chelsea were first. They were all lit up, doing a ridiculous number of lifts and using probably all of their energy for the next week lol! I hope they saved a little for tomorrow. Their timing was a little off a couple of times, including right at the beginning, but it was so fresh and hip, eh who cares. They really brought all they had and then some.

Maks & Kristie's freestyle was, well, in a word...slow. Seriously, it just didn't move enough because the poor girl is unable to move that package like the young and fit thangs. Oh girl, I do so feel your pain, but, honey, this is finals week, there simply is not room for that. I do think the lifts were pretty awesome and she really adapts well to what is asked of her. At this point, though, I'd like to ask her to please move over so Hines can get some more camera time. MMM MMM good!

Hines & Kym just lit the place up, yet again. It is amazing, all they've done and with an injury to boot!! My gosh, are they overachievers or what?? They did say they would be doing something that had never before been done on DWTS and I'm still not sure what that was? LOL! Anyone? Well, I don't care...in spite of that icky band uniform, I was totally mesmerized. If I were to be honest, difficulty-wise I'd have to say that Miss Disney had a little edge over them, but one just cannot help but to get sucked in by Hines and his charm. These two got most of my votes, though I did save a few for Chelsea & Mark lol! I know...what a putz. I can't help it, though, I love them both!!! Still, GOOOOO TEAM HINES!!!! Tune in tomorrow at 7PM PACIFIC time for a spoiler!!!

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT....IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHO WON THE MIRROR BALL TROPHY ON DWTS, STOP READING NOW!!!!

Here goes............

3rd Place goes to......WHAT THE ****??? Chelsea & Mark!!! UGH ::biting nails::

2nd Place goes to......Ok, whew Kirstie & Maks

AND THE WINNER IS................YEEAAHH Hines & Kym take it all!!!

The Fort Knox of Wii

It seems that the Wii console, which is in MY room, so that I can use it with my Wii Fit (currently a magnet for Greyhound hair and not my body) has parental controls set which makes me unable to set up the wireless, thereby rendering Netflix useless. Evidently, my husband set these controls up a couple of years ago because of the Wii News channel? Could the Wii News be any more damaging than the actual news? Surely not.

Fine, let me reset it. OK, it wants a PIN number. WHAT? I don't remember the ever popular pin that he was so fond of two years ago, next question. What is your favorite movie? Oooh that's easy...Pulp Fiction. EH! Not! WHAT? Yes, it is. This thing is stupid. Fine, let's try The Godfather. EH! WRONG! OK, Godfather leaving out the damn adjective because God forbid he have to stumble over waving that wand over an extra three letters AND the space bar. Yep, you got it...wrong again. Otherwise, we wouldn't be having this little blog tantrum at 2AM.

I am seriously peeved. I have tried every stinkin' guy movie I can think of and then some, but the place is locked up like Fort Knox and I refuse to phone Nintendo at 2AM to get my Netflix fix when I have two DVR's, both at almost 100% capacity. I wanted to have the option of watching something else, though, is that too much to ask? Apparently so. PPPFFFTT!

DWTS Season 12 Week 9 Winner Takes All

No, it's not the finale, but they tried out a new instant dance (in this case, the Cha Cha Cha) where the winner took all the points (15), to be added to their total, and the losers all got a big zero. According to Tom, this was added in an effort to help a really great dancing couple avoid getting the axe merely due to a lack of viewer voting. I think I like the choice to do that because we have seen some fabulous dancers gone too early because they didn't win the popularity contest...along with some ridiculous winners for the same reason, imho.

This week they all danced two regular dances, in addition to the instant Cha Cha Cha. I don't promise to remember who danced what, sorry.

Ralph and Karina danced an Argentine Tango as their first dance and, yeah, I'm going with the judges who said it lacked smolder. True dat. This is one of my favorite dances and darnit I wanna feel like a voyeur and they just did not embarrass me the way I like. It wasn't horrible, but it was nowhere near week nine standards, that's for sure. Next, please.....Their second dance was the salsa, which had Ralph sporting butt pads lol! Oh gosh, the things you'll do for...hhhmmm why did he do that, again?? This time, I didn't agree with the judges who didn't like it and went with Carrie Ann...I dunno why, but I liked it. It was wild and not technically sound, but it was hot and fun and I LIKE hot and fun!!

Kirstie and Maks danced a Viennese Waltz which totally mesmerized me. I know she isn't THEEE best dancer, but she has come SO far, being the underdog the whole way and, while I don't think she could possibly have what it takes to win, she has continued to improve and surprise me, week after week. I don't even like the Viennese Waltz and I was thoroughly wrapped up in their dance. YAY!! Their second dance was a Paso Doble (I think), another eh take it or leave it dance, unless it's done REALLY well and I think it was just sexy enough. Kirstie does have her sexy on, whereas I think Ralph is just too nice and decent to go around wearing his on DWTS.

Hines and Kym are just awesome!! They had me tears, along with all sane Americans, after watching the tape of her neck injury and then the emotions that doing the Argentine Tango brought out. The salsa was fun, bright and so awesome, I had another ear to ear grin the entire time. They are hot, hot and I'm pretty sure I'm going to start demanding that people refer to me by my married name...Mrs. Hines Ward.

Chelsea and Mark are another awesome couple. They, of course, smoldered up the place with the full on voyeurism effect in the Argentine Tango and frickin killed the Rumba. O-M-G what a seductive number. I'm still pretty embarrassed...exactly what I want when I tune in. They just kill every dance they do, love them!!

I'm totally torn about who I want to win, so I know the final is going to be awesome BECAUSE.....we KNOW that CHELSEA AND MARK and HINES AND KYM are SAFE!!!! WOOHOO!!! I am so stoked about next week. Honestly, either of the other two teams probably doesn't have a shot. I'm biting my nails already. I don't even bite my nails, though. EEEWWW!

OK....ready for the spoiler???? Here we go...here's who is going home....Ralph & Karina. Well, it had to happen!! See you next week!!

DWTS Season 12 Week 8 Instant Dance Week

So, I had all these wonderful plans to watch and blog simultaneously this week, but I just couldn't stay awake. I was so excited that I watched from bed, but ended up having to watch the whole things, again, this morning because the only dances I remember were both of Mark & Chelsea's. I vaguely remember making my daughter call in votes for SOMEONE on her cell phone lol! I do recall the judges being in an odd mood, too. Len was uncharacteristically happy (change in meds was mentioned) and Carrie Ann was little miss cranky pants, again, in a passive aggressive sort of way. Bruno, well, he ate a little of Carrie Ann's food or something and Len agreed.

SPOILERS IN THIS POST!!! SPOILER BELOW ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Since we're talking about Mark & Chelsea, well, let's talk about them. They did a waltz that I thought was awesome! I think it was Carrie Ann (maybe not) who mentioned something about getting so caught up in the storyline of the dance that it overshadowed the dancing. Eh, whatever, learn to focus on more than one thing at a time, babe. I LIKE being caught up in what they're doing...isn't that the point?? They made me cry, they got some phone votes. Their samba was equally impressive and even had my 14 year old daughter glued to the set. Oh, how I see ballroom dance, specifically the Latin dances, in our future. Yes, I said our. SSHHH, don't tell her lol! Oh and Carrie Ann was freakin nuts...they were RIGHT.ON.BEAT with their samba. CHELSEA AND MARK SAFE!!!

I can't remember who danced next, maybe Kym & Hines. Their two dances were the jive and the foxtrot and holy cow, did he ever do a fabulous job. He impressed the judges, the women love him, his gridiron buddies think he's cool and his partner has a body to die for. Some guys have all the luck, huh? I sure love him. I'm REALLY gonna be keeping an eye on the Steelers from now on. Hines Ward for President yo. HINES & KYM ARE SAFE!!!

Ralph & Karina did a Viennese waltz, I think, and the cha cha cha. I'm still not a fan of the V.Waltz, so I wasn't all that impressed and, unfortunately, he's got a knee problem, so the cha cha wasn't up to par. However, I think he did a great job, all things considered. Totally unimpressed by his makeup and her outfits, though. My daughter found his quite freakish looking, too, lol! I think they're gonna have to go, I really do. I hate for anyone to go right now because I am actually liking every couple, but SOMEONE has to leave.

Romeo & Chelsie did a tango and their instant dance was the salsa. I thought he was more impressive than the judges did, but still think he's holding something back. I don't know if it's that or he doesn't get that it's not just a sexy thang, there needs to be more DANCE to his dance. Something I can't quite put my finger on, but they are young, full of energy and cute, cute. They may not be long for the show. I hope they're staying another week, but that remains to be seen.

MMMMMaks & Kirstie did the Argentine tango and the instant salsa. The tango was done beautifully. Gosh, he can sure make Kirstie look good. He just brings out the sexy beast in all his partners, I guess. He needs to see if he'd be successful doing that with me, I'm quite sure of it. That said, there will be few Argentine tangos that rival the one he performed with Erin, which sorta ruined the one with Kirstie. Oh well, it was still great. I felt like the salsa wasn't the greatest dance, but I know they didn't have much time to put it together. She's cute and REALLY puts her heart and soul into the dances, but it still fell a little flat. It wasn't quite sharp enough. They cannot go, though. Nuh uh. And, guess what? KIRSTIE AND MAKS ARE SAFE!!!!

Come back in about 22 minutes to find out who is gone. ::bites nails, heart races::

ROMEO AND CHELSIE WERE ELIMINATED!!! UGH!!